For the love of

Why do we do it to ourselves? Why do we tangle up our happy with someone else’s heart? It’s so weird. My dog doesn’t care about any of that. He has his little buddy and a good life and he’s the happiest damn goofball we know. 

His heart is fine. 

A friend of mine struggled a bit in a new relationship and my best advice? Sometimes boys are dumb.

I felt ashamed of myself, for not offering something better as a balm and for stereotyping a whole gender. Ashamed. 

I’ve always tried to maintain that we are all just people. People with thoughts and feelings and scars and sunshine we scatter when we walk. 

Yeah, some guys are jerks. And some girls are plain mean. But most of us are out here doing the best we can. We make our lives our own. 

We get to create our world every day. For some reason, we want someone to share in our creation. Someone to write the whole middle section with us. But it gets messy. Our happiness begins to rotate around someone else’s axis. We invite them into our sunshine and sometimes they make it rain. 

But hell if I don’t know you gotta take a little rain with the sunshine. Because sometimes you don’t know just how good you feel until you’ve been clear down. 

Baby love is a good thing. But you gotta be your own sun and moon and rain. Another heart won’t control your weather. You make your world. That’s what makes you beautiful. 

So invite someone in if you feel like sharing the sun. Bring them home with you, lay next to them under the stars. Make them laugh for days and days and days. And when the rain comes, and it will come, open the umbrella of shared time. 

We can’t get anywhere alone. But don’t seek someone else’s sun for your own because you don’t know how to make your own joy. There’s such a difference between being alone and being alone. 

So if I had to tell you something to help with the boy trouble, just do what makes your heart sing. Loudly. Boys aren’t dumb. Nobody is good at love. Except dogs. So my best advice is to love fiercely and let go lightly. We will make sure you shine.

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